if only i had chickens...

technical difficulties...

2010-07-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

go figure, we've been internet-less for a few days... not totally operational yet... but i'll be back 'right quick'... with a post AND maybe a recipe...

A Party of Two...

2010-07-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

I have started and not finished four posts now! I want to post twice a week, at least, but the ideas are coming fast, and I don't know how to really get this rolling.... it's slightly intimidating...

Do I talk cooking and housekeeping first... or is that too trite? Jump onto my soapbox about my generation... or will I offend people? Tell my love story, and begin the tale of how I went from 'hipster to hillbilly'... or is that too pretentious? One thing is for sure... I think that I overthink things...

But I also think I made a decision..... :-)

My week has been hectic, between throwing together a garage sale and my hubby being gone for work far more than normal this week... my routine is all thrown off. We have not had an actual homecooked dinner together since Tuesday night, there are still boxes stacked in my dining room... and I have no time to fix any of that this weekend. I miss my routine. I especially miss my husband being home with me in the evenings (I've barely seen him since Wednesday, and I won't really see him until Sunday, if much then...)

When this happens (he occasionally will have to be away for a solid week, depending on where he needs to be) friends and family often tell me to 'enjoy the ME time.'  I know many married (or commited) women who have actually said 'I'd love it if my husband was gone for a week, that would be fun! You should be happy to have time to yourself, you're lucky!' That is an attitude I don't understand.

Yes. I am 'lucky'. I consider myself very very lucky. I met and married a man I adore, who is strong and solid. We have a nice, simple, happy life together. He comes straight home after work, we have dinner, get a few things done, snuggle up on the couch, talk about our days... that makes me lucky, blessed.  I fail to see how the absence of all of that 'luck'... is lucky.

I'm NOT saying that if one is single, one ought to be crying in the corner in misery. And I'm not saying that once one is married one should tuck in promptly after the 9 o'clock news. But why get married and still live like you are single?

Weddings are a BIG deal in our culture, both religiously and secularly. The average wedding in the US costs (even in this economy) nearly $20,000 and takes at least a year to plan.  The planning and execution of of a full-sized wedding can easily consume a girl's life. And no one really blinks. Talk to a bride, especially less than a few months from her wedding, and that wedding is ALL she can think about. (I planned our wedding in a month, it cost less than $1000... and I STILL couldn't shut up about it.) And no one really blames the bride. It's assumed. People get excited... other married and engaged women commiserate and help.  Often family and friends are expected and happily willing to get involved.

Then the big day comes... all that money for that one huge moment... and then... you don't have a wedding... you have a MARRIAGE...

...and apparently you can totally check out again.

Married couples are now encouraged, by 'experts' and the media, to do things once unheard of.... Take separate vacations! Sleep in separate rooms! And I think the pressure on women is heavier, the concept of the 'girl's night' (though fun on occasion I suppose) is intoxicatingly toted as a neccessity. I admit, I nearly buy into it at times too.

I'm not saying I never do things by myself. A married couple will never share EVERY interest and activity. We are not glued to each other every moment he isn't at work. I don't go with him when he runs off to cut up scrap metal with his Dad (apparently, that's fun... I had no idea). And today in fact, I will be at a music festival with my Mother, sister, and aunt (my mom's birthday present!)... if he isn't working super late, the Hubs will probably go bowling with his friends, or he'll tinker in the garage longer than he normally does. When he's gone for a week for work, I try to make the best of it. I make myself dinners that he doesn't eat (since he can't have dairy, when he's gone I often cook myself butter and parmesan drenched pasta...yummy...) I pop in a movie that he wouldn't be as into and snuggle with the cats. Or sometimes I join my parents or, yes, a friend, for dinner. But it's not 'yay me time!' it's more like making the best of a bad situation. 'Time apart' is just not something we actively seek, we'd usually rather be together.... that's, you know, why we, like (kinda sorta).... GOT MARRIED....

When I point this out, the 'newlywed' label gets pushed in my face. Clearly, it's just for now. I'll be sick of him before too long, and then I'll be dying to bolt out the door for margaritas every Friday night with the girls as soon as he's home from work and leave him here with a frozen pizza and the kids... oh I hope not. I pray that whenever I have a choice of hanging out with my husband, or ditching him to do something with other people, I chose to spend time with my husband, and eventually our children.

Isn't that part of starting a family? People say "Don't lose yourself" to me all the time. But isn't that (at least on some level) what you are SUPPOSED to do? I am done with 'my life as just me.'  This is my life as a wife, someday a mother. This is his life as a husband, and God willing, a father eventually. Aren't 'two' supposed to become 'one' during that $20,000 ceremony?

I realize this is a bit heavy-handed for an early post, but it is truly what was on my mind. Somedays it feels as though it's my marriage versus 'the world'. Luckily, I have that shiny new last name to remind me which team I'm on....

an introduction...

2010-07-09T20:13:00.001-07:00

So, here is my story... or at least some of it...

A little over a year ago I was recovering from a miserably failed marriage, moving from the big city into my sisters basement in suburbia, working for a prestigious university, and completely engrossed in uber-liberal hipster culture...

Now, I'm an excited newlywed, living in a rural small town. I've ditched the academic career for the 'housewife' routine in the middle of nowhere and I will never look back...

Through my transition, I learned that my generation, and our culture, is simply not used to the 'happy housewife' concept. Not that everyone is 'against' it... but it's sort of an abnormal thing. Were it not for a few wonderful women and their blogs, I may have thought I was a freak... but I'm not a freak... I just have a domestic streak a mile wide, and a desire for a happy home and family that overpowers any other 'wants' I've ever had in my life...

So, in an effort to share my experience, learn from and fellowship with other women, I am starting this blog.

So, here is the skinny... what I intend and don't intend... and the bare bones of this idea... no holds barred... very honest...

A few caveats first...

1. I am almost 30 and relearning my life. Somedays I'll gush. Somedays I'll vent...
2. This is NOT a 'religious' blog specifically... I am a Christian, I am rediscovering my faith, and am not as mature in my walk with Christ as I would like, though i may throw up bible versus, I am not going to try to give Biblically based advice or ideas, because I simply don't feel qualified...
3. I AM NOT here to tell ANYONE what is RIGHT or WRONG... period. Again, I don't feel qualified...
4. I do not have the whole 'housewife' thing downpat yet... wish I did... Cliff comes home and there are still dishes in the sink sometimes... or the floor isn't mopped... I am doing this to GET advice as much as I am to GIVE it... I'll share what I know, please share what you know...
5. I will leave comments open, I will happily encourage dissenting opinions... I WILL NOT allow namecalling, or rude generalizations... if I'm wrong, feel free to call me on it, but don't be rude... there's too much rudeness in the world, I'm not a fan...

the HAPPY stuff...

*I adore my husband. He's a rare thing in my generation... a hard-working provider... a loving, caring man, and a goofy kid, all in one...
*My favorite thing to do, EVER... is cooking... there will be a lot of cooking ideas here... I'm not a complete healthnut... no vegan stuff... my hubby is lactose intolerant, so I do have to do a lot of dairy-free cooking (which is tough for me) but mostly I like the idea of cooking whole foods, from scratch, WHEN I CAN... it doesn't ALWAYS happen, and now and then, I crave Arby's...
*I have HILARIOUS stories, of my transition into hillbillydome. Ok, we're not complete hillbillies... at all... but we do have a couple of pickups on the lawn that don't work...

Some stuff you get to join me in..

*I am working on myself a LOT... I'm trying to dress more modestly, and I'm learning to embrace my femininity
*I am trying to get our household more self-sufficient... you can all admire my adventures in gardening, canning, sewing, etc... all things I'm VERY new at...
*Our house is 120 yrs old... my husband bought it a couple of years ago and it's still being renovated... by us... slowly... so, you know... you can hear me whine about not having outlets that work and doors that close...

The TITLE...

*yeah... we're still kinda too far IN town here... I want chickens... IF ONLY I HAD CHICKENS....

2010-06-23T10:28:00.001-07:00

stay tuned boys n girls... my first post will be along soon...